Menachem Bluming Muses: Being a Partner at Home in Quarantine and in Torah
At times husbands offers to help out and in his mind he is being sincere, and yet his wife sees him as unhelpful and does not accept his offer. Sometimes what the husband says and what his wife hears are miles apart. We need to appreciate how our words come across. She may be hearing the opposite of what he meant. So when you say: "If you need any help preparing dinner I am happy to help you. Just let me know, I'm right here in the living room." You thought that was being nice. But your wife hears: "I am going to the couch to chill. If you really desperately need me, then you will have to come and disturb my peace and I will reluctantly come and cut up a few vegetables like a martyr." Not a very convincing offer. Even though you didn't say it in those words, between the lines you implied a willingness to help, but not an eagerness. You are not presenting yourself as being at her service, but rather as not opposed to doing your bit if it i...