Mendel Bluming | Blogger

The Jewish people can best be described as a spiritual family. We are connected by our souls, and every Jew is a part of this invisible web by virtue of our Jewishness. You can either be born into the family or join by choice. But once you are in, you are family, no matter what. If Jews are a family, the Torah is the family rules. It recounts the family history, defines the family identity, and lays out the expectations of how members of the family should behave and the good they can contribute to the world. Some of the Torah is universal, but much of it is about our particular family and its relationships - with our brothers and sisters, our ancestors, our homeland and the Head of the family - G-d. If you break the rules, you are still a member, because family is family. But those who keep the rules keep the family together. Those who reject the rules usually find their children or grandchildren will drift away from the family entirely, not even knowing what they are leaving beh...

Remember when your little brother was born? After being in your mother's tummy for such a long time, he finally came out to be with you and the family. How exciting. You'd been waiting for so long to meet him and play with him, and then he finally arrived.   Your baby brother was very comfortable inside mummy's tummy, where it's warm and he had everything he needed. But he couldn't stay there forever.  When it was time, he came out to be with you. In a strange way, death is similar to birth. We leave the world we know and enter the great unknown world outside.  All the people who have passed away are in that peaceful and happy place. Just as you were waiting for your brother to come and be with you, the souls of past generations were waiting for your grandfather to join them. Now they are all together. We miss them. But there's nothing to be scared of. Remember you used to talk to your baby brother, even before he was born? He heard you, though he couldn...

The Jews had arrived at the border of the Kingdom of Edom and asked for permission to travel through their country. In order to inspire sympathy and understanding from the Edomites, Moshe gave them a bit of the background to their journey:   We are distant relatives, he reminded the Edomites. Our respective ancestors, Yakov and Esau, were brothers. As a nation, we’ve been doing it tough. We were slaves in Egypt and only recently escaped. We’re finally heading towards our promised homeland and it would be much appreciated if you’d agree to allow us safe passage.  In the end, the Edomites denied our request and the Jews were forced to travel the long way around, through the desert. A fascinating teaching of Rashi casts a whole new light on the nature of inter-generational relationships.  In his message to the King of Edom, Moshe relates that “ Our fathers went down to Egypt, and we sojourned in Egypt for a long time, The Egyptians mistreated us and our forefathers.”...

Remember when your little brother was born? After being in your mother's tummy for such a long time, he finally came out to be with you and the family. How exciting. You'd been waiting for so long to meet him and play with him, and then he finally arrived.   Your baby brother was very comfortable inside mummy's tummy, where it's warm and he had everything he needed. But he couldn't stay there forever.  When it was time, he came out to be with you. In a strange way, death is similar to birth. We leave the world we know and enter the great unknown world outside.  All the people who have passed away are in that peaceful and happy place. Just as you were waiting for your brother to come and be with you, the souls of past generations were waiting for your grandfather to join them. Now they are all together. We miss them. But there's nothing to be scared of. Remember you used to talk to your baby brother, even before he was born? He heard you, though he couldn...

Large swaths of the States of Delaware, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Virginia and West Virginia are blanketed by billions of cicadas. If you don’t live in the states, you have no idea what I am talking about but if you live there, they are a big part of your life during these weeks of Spring 2021. After burrowing underground for 17 years the cicadas await their grand exit into the world for a short few weeks to accomplish their mission. What do they do for these few weeks? They mate and bring little cicadas into the world and then they pass away... Maybe what the cicadas are teaching us is to never devalue the magnificent privilege and calling of marriage and welcoming children into this world. For that their entire wait and their entire lifetime becomes worthwhile... Mendel (Menachem) Bluming

Unsurprisingly, Merriam-Webster has chosen “pandemic” as their word of the year. It has been the most researched, analyzed and studied word in all of 2020—a year that has certainly left its mark on the world.  But may I humbly suggest that perhaps the word “humility” better represents the year we’ve just endured? If there’s one thing 2020 has hammered into our consciousness, it’s humility. This time last year, we had grand plans for 2020. Certainly none of us could have predicted what happened next! In fact, as we ushered in the New Year, the pandemic had already begun in China. As it spread, the world was shaken to its core. We were entirely unprepared; we had no tools to handle the situation foisted upon us. Without doubt, the events of 2020 will feature heavily in history books. We thought we had the mightiest weapons in our arsenal, including F16s and hydrogen bombs, and then we discovered just how powerless we are against a tiny, invisible virus. Humbling.  Even as it spr...

There are several different types of genius. There is genius of the mind, like Einstein. There is musical genius, as in Mozart, and artistic genius, like Rembrandt. Shakespeare would be a genius of the pen. There are sporting geniuses and business geniuses. Each one possesses an uncanny ability to excel in their field, and do what they are good at with a flair and panache that sets them apart from others.   But there is another type of genius, perhaps greater than them all. That is genius of the heart. There are many kind-hearted people. But a genius of the heart is on another level. Such a person acts with love and care that goes beyond normal niceness. They don't just do good. They are brilliant in their benevolence, creative in their kindness. They find their way into everyone's heart, because theirs is so open and loving. This was Abraham. He had a knack for not only being kind to people, but making them feel good about it. He is the host that makes guests feel wanted...

Note received:   I guess you could say I am angry at G-d right now. We have been trying to become pregnant for several years since our oldest was born. Our prayers were finally answered. Well sort of. I am pregnant, but the doctors say my baby has a rare condition with very little chance to survive to term, and even less chance of surviving after birth for more than a few days. I just don't get it. Why would G-d do that to me? Here's what I wrote in response: I have no answers for you. Your pain is real, and your anger understandable. I can't give you an explanation. All I can offer is friendship and support. And I'll tell you a story. There was a soul in heaven waiting to come down to this earth. Unlike other souls, who need to battle through life in a body for decades, this soul's mission would be brief. She would only be on earth for a short time. Then she'd be free to fly back to her heavenly home. The appointed day was approaching for this preciou...

Dear Rabbi Menachem Bluming: I have a dark secret... I have an anger problem. And I never knew it until I became a parent. Because the only people I take my anger out on are my own kids. I never had a temper before, but sometimes when my children misbehave and I am at my limit I just explode and lose control. I don't like myself at those moments and know it is wrong. And yet I haven't been able to control it. Any pointers on how to not lose it with my kids? Dear friend: Your dark secret is the dark secret of every parent. We all have our weak moments, when a combination of lack of sleep, pressures of life and our imperfect hearts conspire to make us lose it. And who are the poor victims of our fury? Those we love the most, our children. If it is happening frequently or if you are really harming your kids, you need urgent professional help. But if you are overall loving and good to your kids, just now and then you snap, then you are human. That doesn't excuse your beh...

There are two ways of living: You can make mountains out of molehills or you can make miracles out of molecules... You can see life as a series of disasters to overcome or a series of miracles to behold. What is your life like? Are you surrounded by miracles or by melancholy? By fear or promise? Ultimately when the way that you see things around you changes the conditions around you seem to change as well. Sometimes it takes a frightening illness or a great setback or fear of losing a loved one to start noticing the miracles. Sometimes it just takes saying the modeh ani prayer with concentration in the morning. Sometimes we look on with curiosity and slight jealousy at those who instead of making mountains out of mole hills seem to see miracles even in the molecules. What is the truth of your world? Menachem (Mendel) Bluming taken from many sources

At times husbands offers to help out and in his mind he is being sincere, and yet his wife sees him as unhelpful and does not accept his offer. Sometimes what the husband says and what his wife hears are miles apart. We need to appreciate how our words come across. She may be hearing the opposite of what he meant. So when you say: "If you need any help preparing dinner I am happy to help you. Just let me know, I'm right here in the living room." You thought that was being nice. But your wife hears: "I am going to the couch to chill. If you really desperately need me, then you will have to come and disturb my peace and I will reluctantly come and cut up a few vegetables like a martyr." Not a very convincing offer. Even though you didn't say it in those words, between the lines you implied a willingness to help, but not an eagerness. You are not presenting yourself as being at her service, but rather as not opposed to doing your bit if it i...

What is normal? If we know anything at all, it’s that the definition has radically changed over the last two months. Normal used to be commuting to and from work each day, but Corona has forced us to reconsider whether we need to commute at all or if we can work entirely from home. Normal used to involve eating out multiple times a week, but Corona has necessitated that we learn how to eat primarily from our own kitchens. Normal used to mean entertainment required Broadway shows, movies, and concerts, but we have shattered that notion by entertaining ourselves at home with our families and online Torah classes. Normal Saturday nights used to mean getting dressed up and going out with friends; now we happily stay in with family, play games, and eat popcorn. Normal used to be getting dressed up and driving out to attend celebrations. Corona has shown us that we can celebrate via Zoom. Normal used to be that in order to be happy, we needed to make lots of money, ...

How ironic is it? We live in the age of communication and an unprecedented era of unimaginable connectivity. At the touch of a button, you can see and hear a person at the other end of the world - for free! And for not much more, you can visit that person and be there in less than a day! The advent of technological advances - no, miracles! - has changed the way we communicate and brought us together in ways our great-grandparents would have thought inconceivable. And yet, in a twist of historic irony, the most connected generation to date is not allowed to leave home. The most social, global community ever has taken to social distancing. One of the lessons we are learning is this: It's great that you can communicate effortlessly with someone across the globe from you. Can you communicate with the person across the table from you? We've conquered the world; but have we done well with our own homes? We've connected thousands and millions of friends and fol...