Mendel Bluming | Blogger

Have you ever tried snapping out of a bad habit only to find yourself falling right back into it? I don’t think you should quit your bad habit entirely. That seems too much, and apparently hasn’t worked for you in the past.  I suggest you quit just for one day.  This would be manageable. I’m sure you can control yourself for a single day. Especially when you know that it isn’t forever. You can go back to your vice tomorrow. But today, just today, you are over it. Then do the same thing again tomorrow.  And the next day.  This is an old hack to fool the Yetzer Harah - the evil urge inside us that pushes us to do the wrong thing. When you say that you are quitting forever, your evil urge fights back ferociously. But if you reassure it that you’ll be back to your devious ways tomorrow, and you’re just taking a day off, it doesn't feel threatened and leaves you be.  After one vice-free day, you have reclaimed a tiny bit of control over your urges. Now yo...

There is a story told by the great chassidic teachers, and it goes like this.    There was once a simple villager who won the lottery. In the olden days, this meant literally winning a pot of gold. So with excitement and anticipation, he set out on foot for a three day journey to the big city to collect his winnings.     When he came to the lottery office and saw his prize, he realized he could not possibly carry such a heavy pot of gold home. So with some of his new wealth he hired a wagon driver with a strong horse to carry him and his pot back to the village. The journey took several hours. Along the way they stopped off at the side of the road for a little rest. The wagon driver parked the wagon in what seemed to be a safe spot and the villager had a little nap under a tree.   Refreshed and ready to go, they jumped back onto the wagon to continue the journey. But after a short while the wagon driver stopped and said, "I think your pot of gold...

Mazel tov! If Jews believe in Divine Providence (fate), why do we always use the word mazel which means luck? Isn't that a contradiction of belief? Actually, mazel is usually mistranslated as luck. The correct meaning of mazel is "a drip from above". Which is probably why people just translate it as luck. It doesn’t quite sound right to say, "Wishing you a good drip from above on the occasion of your bar mitzvah". Your mazel is your pipeline from heaven. In heaven there is abundant blessing waiting to come down to us. But as those blessings descend to earth, they can become corrupted. The freshest water can be polluted if the pipes are dirty. Good mazel means the flow from above reaches us unadulterated, in the form of positive and happy experiences. If the flow is blocked or contaminated, that’s bad mazel, and things don't come out as blessings. When we say Mazel tov on a special occasion, we are wishing that the blessings should flow freely from ab...

Old age is not so easy to define. For a professional football player, forty is already over the hill. On the other hand, there are budding authors in their eighties publishing their first book. So who is old?   We do need a clear answer. There is a mitzvah to “rise before the aged, and give deference to the old.” (Vayikra 19:32) This means more than just offering old people a seat on the bus. It means listening to what they have to say and taking their words seriously.  The mere fact that a person has been around for a while gives a level of credibility and weight to their opinion. Of course there are some very foolish octogenarians, and there are some very wise millennials. But nothing beats life experience. Elders deserve respect just because they have seen a lot. But how old is an elder?  The most authoritative opinion in Jewish law (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 244:1) states that you are an elder and must be accorded honor from the age of 70. But a most delight...

The days pass rather quickly and when you look back a week and then a month has flown by in the blink of an eye. In fact as you get older time seems to pass by more quickly. One theory offered for why it seems so is because a smaller percentage of your life goes by each day and therefore when taken in contrast the passage of time seems shorter and shorter.   If we did not go to sleep there would be no complete unit of time, life would just continue on and on. So here's an exercise. Every evening, don't just go to sleep, actually complete your day. Make sure that what you planned to accomplish that day was accomplished and make a plan for the next day. Assess honestly your performance in your mission of life. Rethink your relationships with G-d and people and recalibrate your priorities. Clear from your heart anger and reprisal. When possible forgive and cleanse your heart. Anger and revenge are ultimately drinking poison and allowing destructive forces rent free space in yo...

Are there parts of your life that make absolutely no sense? Do you see certain chapters of your story as essential because they express who you are and others as just a distraction? On Purim this story only begins a few chapters into the Megillah and yet the Mishna asks (Megillah 2:3): To fulfill one’s obligation to hear the Megillah, from which point in the story must one begin to read? Rabbi Yehudah said, from the part of the story where Mordechai is introduced. Rabbi Yossi said, from the point where Haman is elevated to viceroy. Rabbi Shimon says one must hear from the point in the story where the king cannot sleep. Finally, the Mishna records the opinion of Rabbi Meir, who says, “One is obligated to hear the entire Megillah.” In Rabbi Meir’s view, there are no shortcuts; one must hear the entire story from the very beginning, including the sordid details of Achashveirosh’s wild parties and beauty pageants. And the Talmud proclaims (Megillah 19a), “The Halacha follows Rabbi Meir.”...

The Mishna (Brachot 54a) teaches: Just as we bless G-d for good things, so should we bless Him for bad things. This seems to say that we should make no differentiation between good news and bad. Whether we just won the lottery or a major catastrophe just befell us, we should bless G-d in exactly the same way. But the Gemara elaborates: When we hear good news we say, "Blessed are You G-d, King of the Universe, Who is good and does good." When we hear bad news we say, "Blessed are You G-d, King of the Universe, Who is the Judge of truth." Those two blessings are clearly different. When we win the lottery, we praise G-d for His goodness. Not only is He good, but He does good that we can experience as good. However, when tragedy strikes, we humbly acknowledge that G-d is the one who decides our fate. So, the Gemara asks, what does the Mishna mean by "just as", implying some parity between good and bad tidings? Answers the Gemara: We should ac...

Remember when your little brother was born? After being in your mother's tummy for such a long time, he finally came out to be with you and the family. How exciting. You'd been waiting for so long to meet him and play with him, and then he finally arrived.   Your baby brother was very comfortable inside mummy's tummy, where it's warm and he had everything he needed. But he couldn't stay there forever.  When it was time, he came out to be with you. In a strange way, death is similar to birth. We leave the world we know and enter the great unknown world outside.  All the people who have passed away are in that peaceful and happy place. Just as you were waiting for your brother to come and be with you, the souls of past generations were waiting for your grandfather to join them. Now they are all together. We miss them. But there's nothing to be scared of. Remember you used to talk to your baby brother, even before he was born? He heard you, though he couldn...

There are two types of workers: employees and contractors. A contractor is there to do their job, and that's it. As long as I have completed the tasks given to me, as long as the items on my to-do list are accounted for, I’ve done my bit and I can go home.   But an employee has to work until the day is over. It is not enough that my immediate tasks are complete, I have to seek out more work and ensure every moment of the day is productive. Otherwise I am short-changing my employer. We live in G ‑ d's giant factory, and we are all workers, each with a specific role to play. We each contribute our part to the grand scheme of creating a better world. And we have a choice. We can either suffice with fulfilling our obligation alone, and no more, or we can go beyond that. As long as the job is not yet done, as long as the world is not yet full of goodness, we still have work to do. If you choose to work like a contractor, only looking to fulfill your mission, once your job is d...

What do you think, should you thank Siri for her assistance?   Some would suggest that it’s just good manners. We say thank you to be polite. Life is more civil when our interactions with others are sprinkled with expressions of etiquette and courteous pleasantries. It’s just nicer that way. If this is the reason to say thank you, then we should thank our software too. By doing so, we create a sense of decorum and civility. It doesn't matter that the technology has no feelings. Our thank you doesn't have feelings either. It’s just protocol. But there is another way of looking at thank you. It is an acknowledgement of choice. When someone does me a favor, they could have chosen not to. Yet they chose to give me their time, energy, attention or resources. So they deserve my gratitude. I appreciate that they chose to share themselves with me, so I say thank you. This only applies to a free agent who can choose. An inanimate object does not deserve thanks, because it did no...

The Torah observant community should be the easiest customer for climate activism and environmental concern. Our tradition is clear about the responsibility we have to care for our world. Every child attending a religious Jewish school knows that the Torah forbids us to waste any useful resources. The kabbalists taught that every leaf on every tree has a soul, and must be treated with respect. And our sages record G-d's words to the first man, Adam: "Look at the beautiful world I have created. I have created it all for you. Take care not to corrupt and spoil My world, for if you do, no one will come after you to fix it." However, Jews are not big fans of apocalyptic prophecies and doomsday predictions. Other religious groups may be getting ready for Armageddon, but we have always believed in a happy, bright and peaceful future. After all there is a Captain to this ship! The claim that "we have five years to act or it will be too late" was said five years...

Each Fall we get this surreal opportunity of reliving an hour that has already passed. It makes me think about the year that has gone by.   If we were given the chance to live over an hour, a week or a year that we had already lived, would we make different choices? We think that we would but would we actually act differently? The Talmud in tractate Yomah page 86B teaches that when one does true repentance and return to G-d out of love their past misdeeds actually become merits. The explanation for it is that this strong feeling of connection came because of the distance and therefore the distance became a merit. Sort of like when a couple are not getting along and they realize how much it hurts to be apart and that distance draws them so much closer together. Ultimately what the Talmud is saying is that you can retroactively change your past. You can relive that past hour or that past week even if it is not Groundhog Day! Menachem Mendel Bluming, Maryland

There are multiple biblical obligations to actively save the life of another and not stand by your brother’s blood (Vayikra 19:16). The Talmud in tractate Sanhedrin (73,a) teaches that one is obligated to be willing to endanger himself to some extent in order to save another's life, by doing such acts as jumping into a river to save someone who is drowning, or warding off wild predators or bandits, even though all of these acts involve some level of danger. A person is not obligated, however, to save his fellow if it puts him in great danger. The exact parameters of a great danger are discussed in Jewish Law but they are clearly greater than fighting off bandits or a wild animal. We would not want another to be overly cautious when considering whether or not to save our life and we must be willing to do the same for another, as long as the danger is not considered a great danger. To give a meal to a starving person is an obligation. To give a lobe of one's liver is permissi...

The American army was never meant to stay in Afghanistan long term. They were always there to train the local Afghan army and eventually withdraw. Our US army, likely the most powerful in the world, poured trillions of dollars; blood, sweat and tears into the effort. Twenty years, countless resources, sophisticated weaponry and strategies, so that when it counted, they would be able to defend themselves. And after 20 years, America finally pulled out. Would all the effort pay off? Would the training work? The world watched in horror as the Taliban overpowered the Afghan army in no time. All that effort, all that training, gone. The current Jewish month of Elul is one of reflection... When the new generation that we have trained will be left to stand up and take on the fight; for our traditions, morality and values, will they? Have we made sure that they are ready? Mendel (Menachem) Bluming

When someone cares for your child they are embracing you too because you are expressed in your child. If someone likes you but not your child, that is a contradiction to you. So too with G-d for we are each a child of G-d (Deut. Devarim 14). To love G-d but not the other is a rejection of G-d because each person expresses G-dliness in a unique fashion, a child of G-d. This includes the imperative to love ourselves too.   Mendel (Menachem) Bluming paraphrased from Hayom Yom

The Torah in Bamidbar chapter 30 speaks about the father's central role in annulling his daughter's vows.   Every law in the Torah has a deeper significance and message for us in our conversation between G-d and each of us studying the Torah. Our children make vows when they encounter disappointment and shame, mistakes and blunders. They promise themselves to not try again, to not be vulnerable again. To not open up to a relationship again after they have been burned. To not speak up in a crowd after they have been ridiculed... It is our job to annul those vows of our children and to teach them that they can reach higher and that they are not limited by their past mistakes or by other’s perceptions of them. Annulling these vows is the central calling of a parent for their children. Mendel (Menachem) Bluming taken from the teachings of the Alter Rebbe

Remember when your little brother was born? After being in your mother's tummy for such a long time, he finally came out to be with you and the family. How exciting. You'd been waiting for so long to meet him and play with him, and then he finally arrived.   Your baby brother was very comfortable inside mummy's tummy, where it's warm and he had everything he needed. But he couldn't stay there forever.  When it was time, he came out to be with you. In a strange way, death is similar to birth. We leave the world we know and enter the great unknown world outside.  All the people who have passed away are in that peaceful and happy place. Just as you were waiting for your brother to come and be with you, the souls of past generations were waiting for your grandfather to join them. Now they are all together. We miss them. But there's nothing to be scared of. Remember you used to talk to your baby brother, even before he was born? He heard you, though he couldn...

Large swaths of the States of Delaware, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Virginia and West Virginia are blanketed by billions of cicadas. If you don’t live in the states, you have no idea what I am talking about but if you live there, they are a big part of your life during these weeks of Spring 2021. After burrowing underground for 17 years the cicadas await their grand exit into the world for a short few weeks to accomplish their mission. What do they do for these few weeks? They mate and bring little cicadas into the world and then they pass away... Maybe what the cicadas are teaching us is to never devalue the magnificent privilege and calling of marriage and welcoming children into this world. For that their entire wait and their entire lifetime becomes worthwhile... Mendel (Menachem) Bluming

The Torah, in the portion of Behaalotechah, speaks of the Jewish People's complaint about the manna in chapter 11 verse 6.   As part of their complaint they said that “there is nothing at all besides this manna before our eyes”. So why is that a complaint? So the only food is manna, why does that not make it a delectable cuisine? How do you know if something is too expensive or not? You compare it. You compare prices, you compare schools that your children get into. You compare summer vacations. Through comparison we know if we are doing well, if not we are never sure.. The Jews complained that they did not feel good about their cuisine because there was nothing else to compare it to, to know if it is really good. Social media has exacerbated that ability and need to compare to what others have rather than finding joy in the gifts that we are given and that often leaves us complaining that whatever we have is not enough. Mendel (Menachem) Bluming

In many states of the United States this spring of 2021 will welcome in billions of Brood X cicadas. With over 1 1/2 million of these creatures per acre the region will be blanketed.   They live just long enough to mate and then they soon pass away. Their progeny fall into the earth where they borrow for the next 17 years to emerge again. Imagine a mother cicada sitting with her children beneath the earth before they emerge: “Listen here my dear children cicadas! These are the moments that we have been waiting for. It will be only a brief few weeks on this earth and then you will be gone. Make sure to fulfill your purpose and mission because there is only a small window of opportunity.” Our souls too descend to this earth for a very short period of time and before they descend they are warned to be righteous and to remain focused on the mission (Talmud Chapter Three Niddah). Don't allow the time to slip through your fingers because before you know it, your allotted time is ...