Mendel Bluming | Blogger

Well, here's the alternative offered by our society:  In the world of secular dating, serious topics can only be brought up after maybe six months or more into a relationship. Issues like marriage, family and future. But by then you are emotionally entangled. If the priorities don't match, but they are in love, they hit a snag. For example, he may not want to settle down, or have children. She then finds herself with an excruciating question: give up her dreams, or give up her love. And she may choose love, with sometimes heart-wrenching results. On the other hand, he has no prior information about her. For all he knows, she is an axe-murderer on parole. That may also create problems later on. The traditional Jewish dating system helps remove these problems. Before meeting a prospective partner comprehensive information is done about values and beliefs? What do they want to do with their life? How were they shaped by their family and upbringing? And most import...

We’ve all experienced it: That first flurry of concern, the fleeting hope, the quick scramble to double and triple check, and the rising heart rate turned full blown panic as we come to the realization that it's done, poof, no way out. Yes, I'm talking about the universal and undeniable panic that we feel upon realizing you've sent a text, email, or voice note to the incorrect destination. We've all done it. And this week it happened to me again on whats app… So I panicked. Panicked hard. But then it came to me that I read that Whatsapp has a very new and convenient feature you can use to un-send messages within 7 minutes of sending them. I could see the person had not yet read what I wrote, so I quickly deleted it, and the only remaining evidence was the "this message has been deleted" that Whatsapp places in the space of the erased message. Crisis prevented. Whew. Wipe brow; resume life. But what if we could mime Whatsapp's un-se...

So here’s a thought: Imagine you could do a blood test to determine who your soulmate is. You would go to a laboratory with a prospective partner and give blood samples, and half an hour later they would tell you whether you will live happily ever after, or better move on.  Sounds amazing? But think about it. Is that an ideal way to start a relationship? It certainly would save a lot of time. But how dreamy does this sound: "Listen, the blood test came out positive, so I guess we may as well get engaged." The truth is we wouldn't appreciate a soulmate determined by a lab result. What makes a relationship have meaning is that we can make a choice. If we based a commitment on a blood test, we would indeed have certainty, but the gift of freedom would be lost. Freedom is essential for true love. Certainty is not. That's why proving G-d 100% is not helpful. G-d doesn’t want us to enter into a relationship with Him by force but by choicec. He created us fr...

It’s beyond the human brain to grasp this idea, but there was no before… Time itself was a creation made when the world was created! Here’s an analogy to understand a period of “no time”… When did 2 + 2 begin equaling 4? Of course that is a pointless question- it is not bound by time. The first creation was the concept of Time and since then G-d uninterruptedly creates time.  Each breath, each wave of the sea, each beat of the heart comes only once, created by G-d. Every minute of life is a raw but precious jewel, beckoning, pleading, “Reveal my secret, do with me something to expose my purpose of being! For I am here only this one time, and then never again.” And so that is our primary task: To elevate time and make it holy. Menachem Mendel Bluming, Rabbi T. Freeman and Chabad.org

Here’s a thought: It all goes back to the world’s first Friday. Adam and Eve were created on Friday afternoon. On that first day, they were told not to eat from the fruit of one tree, the Tree of Knowledge, until nightfall. The mystics teach that this fruit was a grape vine which is a fruit that contains the potential for great good and great evil. Over a cup of wine friendships are made and lost, lives are enhanced and destroyed, and hopes are created and ruined. It is the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The prohibition was only to last until nightfall that day. They were allowed to eat from the fruit of the tree once Shabbos came in. But they did not wait. We correct this mistake by making Kiddush on Friday night over wine or grape juice. It reminds us that we can only enjoy the pleasures of this world if we can also defer our enjoyment. If you have control over yourself and wait, then you are the master of your desires. If you can't, then you are slave to th...