Menachem Bluming Muses: Why the Need To Control Others?


The dictator, the control freak, or the abusive spouse or parent, does not know how to give others freedom. He (or she) feels compelled to force others into the mold that he has created for them. Uncomfortable in his own skin, he is afraid that someone will overshadow him, expose his weaknesses, usurp his position or make him feel extra in this world. Outwardly he attempts to appear powerful, but inwardly his power is a symptom of inner misery and confinement.

Only when one learns to embrace others, not for whom he would like them to be, but for whom they are, can he begin to embrace himself, not for whom he wishes he was, but for whom he is. When we free those around us, we are freeing ourselves. By accepting them, we learn to accept ourselves.

In a fascinating narrative in the book of Jeremiah chapter 34, we read:

Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying: So says the Lord G-d of Israel; I made a covenant with your fathers on the day that I brought them forth out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slaves, saying: "At the end of seven years you shall let go every man his brother Jew who has been sold to you, and when he has served you for six years you shall let him go free from you."

Isn’t that incredible?! While the Jews were just coming out of Egypt G-d made a covenant with them to let others go. G-d was teaching them that if you want to be free within yourself you must learn to not control others. That control does not make you more powerful it makes you smaller and weaker. This understanding was taught to the Jewish people even before they left Egypt having just served as slaves themselves. The Exodus from Egypt’s ultimate completion depended on this understanding.

With blessings for freedom! Menachem Mendel Bluming of Potomac, Maryland and Rabbi Jacobson

Popular posts from this blog

When to be Flexible

There are times to bend like a reed in the wind. And there are times to act as a stubborn wall against the tide. There are matters that lie at the periphery of life. In those situations stubbornness often stands in the way of harmony and peace. Every such “I” is the very root and source of evil. But when it comes to matters that touch the purpose for which you were placed in this world, that’s when you have to be that immovable wall. That’s when you have to say, “On this, I‘m not going to budge.” That “I,” that’s not evil. That‘s an “I” fulfilling the purpose for which you were given an “I.” Menachem Mendel Bluming,  Chabad.org and Rabbi Freeman
Read more

Menachem M. Bluming on Gun Control

In Las Vegas we were stunned once again by another staggering and grotesque mass murder and the resultant anguish for all those whose lives have been destroyed and irrevocably altered. We are left perplexed and wondering what in the world is going on in our country? This kind of vicious mass murder is something we have not seen before, certainly not with the frequency that we see it today. Would you believe that there has been a shooter incident somewhere in the country almost every day this year? In the latest tragedy in Las Vegas the killer doesn't seem to even have had a twisted ideological or religious motive. Just wanton murder. Although law enforcement may be baffled in their search for a motive in this case, A general societal shift may have contributed to the perpetration in these kind of atrocious acts. The most dramatic changes in American society over the past seventy five years has been, not in the technological realm (though superficially it may seem so), ...
Read more

Menachem Bluming Muses: Define Judaism

The Jewish people can best be described as a spiritual family. We are connected by our souls, and every Jew is a part of this invisible web by virtue of our Jewishness. You can either be born into the family or join by choice. But once you are in, you are family, no matter what. If Jews are a family, the Torah is the family rules. It recounts the family history, defines the family identity, and lays out the expectations of how members of the family should behave and the good they can contribute to the world. Some of the Torah is universal, but much of it is about our particular family and its relationships - with our brothers and sisters, our ancestors, our homeland and the Head of the family - G-d. If you break the rules, you are still a member, because family is family. But those who keep the rules keep the family together. Those who reject the rules usually find their children or grandchildren will drift away from the family entirely, not even knowing what they are leaving beh...
Read more