Mendel Bluming | Blogger

Here’s a thought: You are out for a romantic dinner, just the two of you. You make a reservation at a fancy restaurant, a quiet table for two in the corner. Gentle music is playing, lights are dimmed, and the ambiance is just perfect for a romantic evening. You resolve not to talk about work, not to talk about the kids, rather to take the time to really connect and enjoy each other's company. You laugh together, chit chat, and give one another complete focus and attention. Then suddenly you say, "Oh, I just remembered something." You take out your phone and call your business partner to remind him to send a report you are waiting for. It all took no more than fifteen seconds. You quickly put your phone away and smile at your wife. But she's not smiling. You just ruined the moment. You destroyed the atmosphere. Until now it was all about the two of you. As soon as you took out your phone, the ambiance was shattered. You brought the outside world into

Haman in the Megilah of Purim had it all! His political position was second to the King! He had great wealth and a large family and a caring wife. He seems to have had good health and the people honored him to the point that they bowed when he came by! Yet there was one man who irritated him to no end! Mordechai. That one man refused to bow to him, would not even bend when he came by. He could not tolerate this!! He became so enraged that this ultimately brought to his downfall. In your world are you furiously irritated by something that causes you to overlook the tremendous blessing that fills your life? Menachem Mendel Bluming has been a rabbi in Potomac, Maryland since 2003

The argument goes, by living together you can know how someone behaves in various situations. Once you have spent a year or so under one roof, you have tested the relationship to see if it can withstand the varied pressures of life. But wait. That isn't true. You only know how things are for that year. You haven't seen how things will be five years from now. A lot can happen in five years. Surely you need to spend five years together to see how that works before committing for a lifetime.     And then there is the concern about what may happen in ten years. People change, we grow older, sometimes wiser, sometimes not. So you should really live together for a decade before deciding to commit. And what about children? They change the equation entirely. You need to have kids first to see how the relationship will be when you have kids. And then, a lot of relationships become strained once the kids move out. Maybe you should live together through empty-nesting and old