Mendel Bluming | Blogger

Note received:  “I have to admit, I am angry. I was brought up Jewish, attended a Jewish school, and have only known Judaism as my religion. Now I am told I have to convert, because my mother never formally became Jewish. Isn't it a little unfair that all my life I was more Jewish than my friends, was subjected to anti-Semitism, and then I am told I need to convert?!”   Here's a thought... I completely understand your frustration. It can't be easy to hear that you need to convert to your own religion. But please don't take it personally. This is not a reflection on you. The entire Jewish nation went through exactly what you are going through now. After leaving Egypt, where they suffered as slaves and were tormented for being Jewish, the Israelites reached Mount Sinai. There they were told they had to formally accept the Torah, and convert to Judaism by immersing in a mikvah. They could've had the same complaint as yours. We've always been Jewish, we have

The realities of Chanukah exactly 2159 years ago forced the Jews to find a way to light the menorah with one seemingly inadequate cruse of oil. Amazingly it lasted not only for that Chanukah but to this day.   In 2020 the realities forced us to somehow make one measly cruse of oil work. We had to find ways to make Chanukah joyous despite not being able to congregate and celebrate together.   In 2020 YOU found a way to make one small jug work. You expressed love and care despite physical distance. You supported and sustained the community despite the hardships of this year. Yes I have seen many marriages strained by the pandemic yet I have also seen so many marriages strengthened. When we spend so much time together we realize how much we need each other and how worthwhile it is to invest in relationships with family that are all too often neglected.   Finding the good in 2020 starts with Chanukah. That one small cruse of oil looked measly but now in hindsight it was a powerhouse of ene

Take a dreidel and spin it. Let everyone watch. It's fascinating. You never know which side it will land on. It could fall on the Gimmel, which means you win all, or the Shin, which means you lose all. It may land on Heh, and you win half the pot. And sometimes it ends up on Nun, and nothing happens. It all seems totally random. But really it isn't. Every spin has an exact amount of kinetic energy to cause a measured number of turns. The table surface provides an exact amount of friction, and the air pushes the dreidel in a certain way, so it falls exactly as it is supposed to. Nothing is left to chance. There is an exact science to the spin. We just don't get it. Life is like that. It may seem random sometimes. Things just happen, you win or you lose, it falls this way or that for no apparent reason. But that is just how it seems. There is a divine hand spinning the world. Every turn is deliberate, every experience you have is supposed to happen, and whether you win or

A foundation of Chassidic teaching is that, as taught in Tanya chapter 12, we can control our behavior, which includes our thoughts, speech and action. We can usually control what we do, and also what we say. But can we really control what we think? Can I control what will pop into my head? I got this response from a ‘friend’ some time ago: “Apologies for not responding sooner to your emailed message. I actually did receive it the first time. But I ignored it. I didn't even open it. And it was deliberate. I decide which messages I open, and which I don't. Just because an alert pops up on my screen does not mean that I have to react to it. I may not be able to control the messages that arrive in my inbox, but I can certainly control whether or not I open them. And I didn't open yours.” You may not be able to control the thoughts that pop into your head. But you most certainly can control your reaction to them. If an inappropriate thought enters your mind, you have the choice

Many people from all different walks of life have reported feeling an affinity to Jews and Judaism. Some leave it at that. Others take it further. For them, it is more than just a curiosity with Jewish things or a taste for Jewish cooking. It is in their soul. The first Jewish couple, Abraham and Sarah, were married for decades before they were blessed with a child. But the Kabbalists in Shelah HaKadosh, Sha’ar HaOsios, Kedushas Hazivug 402 say that although no physical children had been born to them, they had given birth to many spiritual children. Every time husband and wife are together, a soul is born. Sometimes that soul comes down into a body, and is born as their child. Other times, the soul remains in the heavens. Abraham and Sarah for all those years were in fact giving birth to souls without bodies. Those souls were then distributed among the nations of the world and spread over history.   These are the souls of converts to Judaism throughout the ages. When a non-Jew

It is a perplexing story in the Torah. Jacob fools his father to think that he is Esau in order to receive the blessing that his mother believes he would be able to actualize far better in this world. Just about every commentator questions: what could possibly justify such a lie?! One approach that is taken is hinted to in Yitzchak’s unexpected response when he finds out that he was tricked. He says, “and blessed shall he be”. Instead of telling Esau I retract the blessing from Jacob because I gave it to him mistakenly and instead I transfer the blessing to you, instead he says the blessing will remain with Jacob. Why? Jacob understood that what his father really wanted was a child who could don the garbs of Esau without losing the voice of Jacob. It is that unique combination that is capable of bringing the spiritual message of Abraham and Isaac into a difficult world. Ultimately although Yitzchak was duped he was thrilled to be tricked because it showed him that his son could

There are several different types of genius. There is genius of the mind, like Einstein. There is musical genius, as in Mozart, and artistic genius, like Rembrandt. Shakespeare would be a genius of the pen. There are sporting geniuses and business geniuses. Each one possesses an uncanny ability to excel in their field, and do what they are good at with a flair and panache that sets them apart from others.   But there is another type of genius, perhaps greater than them all. That is genius of the heart. There are many kind-hearted people. But a genius of the heart is on another level. Such a person acts with love and care that goes beyond normal niceness. They don't just do good. They are brilliant in their benevolence, creative in their kindness. They find their way into everyone's heart, because theirs is so open and loving. This was Abraham. He had a knack for not only being kind to people, but making them feel good about it. He is the host that makes guests feel wanted

In heaven three angels received an unexpected and very exciting text. They were to descend to the earth to visit Abraham’s tent to bring him the good news about a new child Isaac who would be born to him and Sarah etc. Looking from heaven they imagined that they would meet a great saint and mystic, a spiritual leader and great sage.   Instead they met a caterer... When they come to his tent he provides them with the finest cuisine and he personally prepares it and keeps them company and makes sure that they are comfortable. They must've been perplexed! Is this a spiritual giant or just a nice guy who knows how to cook a good dinner?! Being from heaven you cannot blame the Angels. Here on earth the holiest people are those who transcend themselves to be there for another. That transforms selfish earthliness into divine transcendence. Are you able to put yourself aside to truly wholeheartedly serve the needs of another? That is the mark of Jewish greatness. Mendel (Menachem

It happened 2000 years ago. There was a plague that ravaged 24,000 disciples of Rabbi Akiva. The Talmud (Yevamot 62b) teaches us that the reason for it was a lack of decency amongst the students toward each other.   Commentators question how it is possible that Rabbi Akiva, who taught that love of a fellow is the foundation of the entire Torah, would have so many students who could possibly show such intolerance toward each other? Their explanation is as relevant today as it was then. The students saw all of the future of Judaism dependent on interpretations and halachic decisions of the time. Because of that, they could not tolerate another person who had a different view because they believed that the other's view would veer Judaism off its path. In G-d’s eyes this was appalling. Even when you believe the other person is wrong and even if you believe that the repercussions of their beliefs will derail Judaism for generations, you still must never lose the dignity and respec

American law establishes that a person who cannot vote in person does not forfeit his or her right to vote. Rather, they can vote early by mail or other means. In Israel, the citizen must appear in person at the polling place on Election Day. In Israel, if you are absent on Election Day, you forfeit your right to vote. What does Judaism say? If I can’t make a seder on Passover is there a make-up date?   Amazingly there is! The Torah records (Numbers chapter 9) that in the desert, Jews who were impure or too distant complained to Moses that they did not have the chance to bring the Passover offering and G-d gave those people a make up date one month later. There is a caveat, however. If someone just couldn’t bother to bring the Passover offering on time, there was no make up date offered. Only if the mitzvah was important to you but for reasons beyond your control you could not make it was there a make up date for you. Voting is an important calling for each of us. Whether it

Adam is created by G-d himself and placed in the Garden of Eden, Paradise. G-d then declared that it is not good for Adam to be alone, he must get married and so G-d created Chavah/ Eve. What exactly was not good about Adam's life? He lacked for nothing. There was no pollution, no elections and plenty of everything. Why does G-d say that it is not good for him to be alone? Rashi, the classic Biblical commentator, responds strikingly by saying that it was not good for him to be alone because he may start thinking of himself as a god! In marriage your spouse reminds you that you are not G-d, hopefully kindly :) One learns to consider another, to be questioned by another and to grow toward a mission and purpose bigger than oneself. Even Paradise, and a perfect world, does not compare with being deeply challenged and transcending oneself. Mendel (Menachem) Bluming  

The Torah is our guidebook for life studied by scholars for the past 3,300 years. The breadth and depth of Jewish scholarship has spawned thousands of brilliant published works deciphering and applying every word and nuance of Jewish law and teaching. Jews are not meant to just memorize and repeat words robotically but rather to plumb the depths and intellectually grasp their wisdom.   Yet on the day on which we celebrate the completion of the annual cycle of the Torah, Simchat Torah, we celebrate by dancing and rejoicing rather than by studying. Doesn't that seem incongruous with the purpose and focus of the Torah? Here are some thoughts for you to consider: If you had two employees to hire and one of them had great enthusiasm and joy for your company and its mission would you see that as an advantage? In what way does our celebrating demonstrate our acceptance and commitment more than study? Beyond an intellectual pursuit, the Torah is a marriage. We stick together throug

The four species that we bless on Sukkot correspond to the four letters of G-d's Hebrew name. Waving them in all six directions signifies our faith that G-d is everywhere. Specifically, we are saying that on every level, at every stage of life, in all that happens to us, G-d is there. Right and left represent Chesed and Gevurah, the power of love and the power of discipline. G-d, like a parent, can be loving and can also be strict. Sometimes G-d's light shines on us and we feel close to Him, other times He seems distant, we feel left in the dark and have to find our own way through. Whether we receive G-d's closeness and love, or whether He gives us space to grow on our own, it is all coming from G-d. He knows exactly what we need, and that's what we get. Up and down symbolize the highs and lows of life. When we feel we are on top of the world, we need to remember that G-d enabled us to get there. When we feel down in the dumps, we need to have faith that G-d is w

Before the holiest prayer of each day the silent prayer known as the shemonah esrei we say: Hashem sefasay tiftoch.   Now literally that means G-d open my lips but sefasay also means my banks, like river banks. G-d broaden my horizons let me see YOU in a new light. Let me open my eyes to see you not just as an aloof power or a judge who scrutinizes and condemns but as a parent who embraces and uplifts. Who imbued me with a G-dly expression enabling and empowering me to lift myself above fear and worry and judgement to a place of connection, peace and wholesomeness. Expand my horizons allow me to think bigger and broader because I am so much more capable than I allow myself to believe. Rabbi Mendel (Menachem) Bluming

Note received:   I guess you could say I am angry at G-d right now. We have been trying to become pregnant for several years since our oldest was born. Our prayers were finally answered. Well sort of. I am pregnant, but the doctors say my baby has a rare condition with very little chance to survive to term, and even less chance of surviving after birth for more than a few days. I just don't get it. Why would G-d do that to me? Here's what I wrote in response: I have no answers for you. Your pain is real, and your anger understandable. I can't give you an explanation. All I can offer is friendship and support. And I'll tell you a story. There was a soul in heaven waiting to come down to this earth. Unlike other souls, who need to battle through life in a body for decades, this soul's mission would be brief. She would only be on earth for a short time. Then she'd be free to fly back to her heavenly home. The appointed day was approaching for this preciou

It’s a game changer. With Covid-19 the reports are indicating that you can be totally asymptomatic and still be a carrier of the virus and unknowingly spread it further, G-d forbid. It means that even though you feel fine, and you are the nicest person in the world, there is no guarantee that you are not going to spread anything negative to anyone else. Because it is possible that you are unknowingly carrying the errant microbe. This is the reason for the widespread insistence on masks, and distancing and the other mandated precautions. Because even if you think you feel fine, maybe G-d forbid there is something you are carrying that you simply don’t know about. So here is a positive angle! You have so much goodness inside of you! Even more than your symptoms might show and even more than you know. Shine that goodness to all around you through a smile, a word of wisdom, guidance and Torah or a kind deed. If a virus can spread even if one shows no symptoms how much more so g

  Amidst this unpredictable, confusing and worrisome Covid crisis, do you ever feel like just saying, “I GIVE UP!” ? Let’s notice the words: the word UP. Where does that term come from in the colloquialism ‘I give UP’? Grab onto the ray of light inherent in the word UP. In Hebrew to give up is called “liharim yadaim”, literally to LIFT UP YOUR HANDS. A further flash of light. Even more uplifting. Giving UP is indeed the BEST way to go! Raising hands reminded me of the battle of the Jewish people against the Amalekites described in the portion of Beshalach just after the Jews were redeemed from Egypt (Exodus, 17:11 see Rashi’s commentary) Joshua did as Moses had told him, to fight against Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and their nephew Hur went up to the top of the hill and stood in prayer… Whenever Moses RAISED HIS HANDS and the people were thereby inspired to submit themselves to G-d, G-d came to their aid and Israel prevailed. But whenever he lowered his hand, and they wer

  “Place guards at all of your personal entryways!” Commands the Torah in Deuteronomy. Don’t let anything into your sacred space, mind and heart without questioning it. One of the challenges with the coronavirus is that it is invisible. It is harder for person to be disciplined to protect against something that they do not see. So too the insidious effects of those influences that we take in from another’s breath and words impact us very deeply even though the onslaught seems subtle and innocuous. Before allowing another’s thoughts and words to into your space pause, just pause. Consider if you are being uplifted by something virtuous or infected by something potentially dangerous. Mendel (Menachem) Bluming

There is a Talmudic quote that is traditionally said when looking for a lost object:   Rabbi Binyomin said: Everyone is blind until G-d illuminates their eyes, as it states (Genesis 21:19), "And G-d opened her eyes and she saw a well of water." The tradition is to recite this formula when you can't find something, and there are countless stories of people immediately finding whatever they lost after saying these words. Try it! Rabbi Binyomin was giving an example of someone who couldn't see the obvious until G-d intervened. The Book of Genesis tells of the maidservant Hagar, who was wandering through the desert without water. In fact, there was a well nearby, she simply didn't see it.  This is more than just a magical incantation. It reminds us of a profound truth. We are so often blind to the things around us. What you are looking for may be right in front of you, but you don't have eyes to see it. There are amazing opportunities staring you in the fa

  This is what Rabbi Akiva Eiger, one of the greatest Jewish leaders of all time, suggested for High Holiday services in the late 1700s during a cholera epidemic: In every synagogue, in both the men’s and the women’s sections, it is only permitted to fill half of the seats on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, such that next to every person there will be an empty seat. Therefore, a police officer will be assigned to oversee the organization of the synagogue. Those who couldn’t go to synagogue will pray in private house minyanim, but they will have to keep the same spacing precautions there.  Regarding prayers on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur they should be shortened, some of the piyyutim should not be said at all, and the chazzanim should not extend the prayers with their melodies. There should be two doctors in the synagogue, and they must be consulted immediately if any participant shows possible symptoms of the illness. They should listen to whatever the doctors say about eating and dri

Someone said to me, "You know Mendel Bluming, you don't need to smile anymore! No one can tell behind that mask if you are smiling or not!" He brought a smile to my face :) In truth of course you can tell if another is smiling, from their eyes! You see, there is that superficial smile that we are all too familiar with and then there is a smile that is an expression of deep clarity and contentment. A genuine feeling of happiness from knowing that you stand for something more permanent than the shifting sands and viruses of our time. We will persevere despite all the vicissitudes we see around us. That smile may be hidden behind a mask but it is very much present! Smile! :) Mendel (Menachem) Bluming

The two most important things to know about visiting a mourner are: when to come and when to leave. Jewish tradition gives us very clear instructions on both. It is customary for mourners to leave the door of their home open during the week of mourning. Visitors just walk in unannounced. What would be considered rude in other circumstances is quite acceptable in this case. And there is good reason. Many of us have a natural aversion to visiting someone in pain. We don’t know what to say, and we aren’t sure if they really want us there. But at the core of it, we are just  scared . Scared to face intense emotion, uncomfortable at the thought of seeing someone grieve. This fear needs to be overcome. So the door is left unlocked. It is up to the friends and family of the mourner to take the initiative and just show up. Don’t wait for an invitation to visit someone in pain. Don’t ask if they want you to be there. Just go. Once you're inside, take your cues from the mou

Dear Rabbi Menachem Bluming: I have a dark secret... I have an anger problem. And I never knew it until I became a parent. Because the only people I take my anger out on are my own kids. I never had a temper before, but sometimes when my children misbehave and I am at my limit I just explode and lose control. I don't like myself at those moments and know it is wrong. And yet I haven't been able to control it. Any pointers on how to not lose it with my kids? Dear friend: Your dark secret is the dark secret of every parent. We all have our weak moments, when a combination of lack of sleep, pressures of life and our imperfect hearts conspire to make us lose it. And who are the poor victims of our fury? Those we love the most, our children. If it is happening frequently or if you are really harming your kids, you need urgent professional help. But if you are overall loving and good to your kids, just now and then you snap, then you are human. That doesn't excuse your beh

There are two ways of living: You can make mountains out of molehills or you can make miracles out of molecules... You can see life as a series of disasters to overcome or a series of miracles to behold. What is your life like? Are you surrounded by miracles or by melancholy? By fear or promise? Ultimately when the way that you see things around you changes the conditions around you seem to change as well. Sometimes it takes a frightening illness or a great setback or fear of losing a loved one to start noticing the miracles. Sometimes it just takes saying the modeh ani prayer with concentration in the morning. Sometimes we look on with curiosity and slight jealousy at those who instead of making mountains out of mole hills seem to see miracles even in the molecules. What is the truth of your world? Menachem (Mendel) Bluming taken from many sources

Personally, I find it hard enough to remember where I put my car keys five minutes ago, let alone what I did in a previous life. But there have been very holy individuals who were aware of their past lives. One example is Rabbi Moshe Teitelbaum of Ujhely, who said that he remembers his past three lives. Previous to his current life as a Rabbi in 18th century Hungary, he said he lived in the times of the first Temple in Jerusalem in 587 BCE. He was the prophet Jeremiah, who foresaw the destruction of the Temple. For that reason Rabbi Moshe was famous for his constant yearning for the redemption and rebuilding of the third Temple. He also recalled an even earlier incarnation, when he was a witness to the debate between Moses and Korach, which took place during the Israelite sojourn in the desert, some three thousand years ago. But Rabbi Teitelbaum remembered further back, all the way to the time of the patriarchs. He said that when our forefather Jacob tended the sheep of h