Mendel Bluming | Blogger

If someone came to me and said, "I'll give you ten thousand dollars to buy your son/daughter," what do you think I would say? Would I sell one of my children for ten thousand dollars? No way! So what if they wanted to give me a hundred thousand? I still wouldn't agree to it, right? And if they raised it up to a million? Ten million? A BILLION dollars for my child? I wouldn't even need a half a second to think it over. There is no way in the world I would sell my child- even for all the money in the world. A child is far more dear than anything. And thank G-d, our family has been given a few, alright more than a few :) But each one of them- individually- add to making our family rich beyond measure. Some people think kids cost a lot of money. Teach your children that having children is our real wealth. Menachem Mendel Bluming and Rabbi Moss and Chabad.org

The shamash’s flames is there simply to serve, its existence is for the other. It is content in its flame being used to light others, warming and illuminating. It reaches high above the rest not to turn itself into a ruler over them but to carefully watch over them. The shamash’s fire is not effected negatively because of this, it is only given more power to keep spreading light. Our world is waiting for us to assist just like the shamash, to cover light in places where there is only darkness, spread heat where it’s cold, Torah in situations of confusion. To facilitate growth, care, to reach out. Happy Chanukah! Menachem Mendel Bluming and Chabad.org

You can learn so much about yourself in the way you answer that question about who you are and what you value. Our children pick up what makes us mad and they internalize from it what to value. “Dad’s car, now that is out of bounds! You dare pour orange juice on his car carpet and boy will you hear about it…” Things that make Dad happy? Tennis or values? When so you see mom truly glow? What we teach our children when we open our mouths (mostly) goes through one ear and out the other (sorry to break it to you). However, if our children see that real values give us true happiness (nachat), if we get angry only over those utmost important issues, our children will absorb volumes from that. Menachem M. Bluming and Chabad.org

I didn’t imagine so. It is beyond the human ability to conceptualize anything whatsoever that has no basis in reality. All human ingenuity is the result of taking pre-existing ideas and readjusting them, using ingredients that are already present and making a new concoction. There is nothing completely new under the sun. Human invention is the simulating and harnessing of our environment. That's why airplanes are similar to birds, with wings and tails, and cars look like horses, on all fours with two eyes at the front. If you think about every human invention, you will discover that nothing is absolutely original. Even in the world of dreams, human imagination can only design characters that somewhat resemble physical creatures. Any aliens from the weirdest science fiction stories are only overgrown frogmen or human rats with big ears. The scariest space giant looks strikingly similar to a giant lobster. The wildest imaginations have never been gifted to create an entirely

Well, here's the alternative offered by our society:  In the world of secular dating, serious topics can only be brought up after maybe six months or more into a relationship. Issues like marriage, family and future. But by then you are emotionally entangled. If the priorities don't match, but they are in love, they hit a snag. For example, he may not want to settle down, or have children. She then finds herself with an excruciating question: give up her dreams, or give up her love. And she may choose love, with sometimes heart-wrenching results. On the other hand, he has no prior information about her. For all he knows, she is an axe-murderer on parole. That may also create problems later on. The traditional Jewish dating system helps remove these problems. Before meeting a prospective partner comprehensive information is done about values and beliefs? What do they want to do with their life? How were they shaped by their family and upbringing? And most import

We’ve all experienced it: That first flurry of concern, the fleeting hope, the quick scramble to double and triple check, and the rising heart rate turned full blown panic as we come to the realization that it's done, poof, no way out. Yes, I'm talking about the universal and undeniable panic that we feel upon realizing you've sent a text, email, or voice note to the incorrect destination. We've all done it. And this week it happened to me again on whats app… So I panicked. Panicked hard. But then it came to me that I read that Whatsapp has a very new and convenient feature you can use to un-send messages within 7 minutes of sending them. I could see the person had not yet read what I wrote, so I quickly deleted it, and the only remaining evidence was the "this message has been deleted" that Whatsapp places in the space of the erased message. Crisis prevented. Whew. Wipe brow; resume life. But what if we could mime Whatsapp's un-se

So here’s a thought: Imagine you could do a blood test to determine who your soulmate is. You would go to a laboratory with a prospective partner and give blood samples, and half an hour later they would tell you whether you will live happily ever after, or better move on.  Sounds amazing? But think about it. Is that an ideal way to start a relationship? It certainly would save a lot of time. But how dreamy does this sound: "Listen, the blood test came out positive, so I guess we may as well get engaged." The truth is we wouldn't appreciate a soulmate determined by a lab result. What makes a relationship have meaning is that we can make a choice. If we based a commitment on a blood test, we would indeed have certainty, but the gift of freedom would be lost. Freedom is essential for true love. Certainty is not. That's why proving G-d 100% is not helpful. G-d doesn’t want us to enter into a relationship with Him by force but by choicec. He created us fr

It’s beyond the human brain to grasp this idea, but there was no before… Time itself was a creation made when the world was created! Here’s an analogy to understand a period of “no time”… When did 2 + 2 begin equaling 4? Of course that is a pointless question- it is not bound by time. The first creation was the concept of Time and since then G-d uninterruptedly creates time.  Each breath, each wave of the sea, each beat of the heart comes only once, created by G-d. Every minute of life is a raw but precious jewel, beckoning, pleading, “Reveal my secret, do with me something to expose my purpose of being! For I am here only this one time, and then never again.” And so that is our primary task: To elevate time and make it holy. Menachem Mendel Bluming, Rabbi T. Freeman and Chabad.org

Here’s a thought: It all goes back to the world’s first Friday. Adam and Eve were created on Friday afternoon. On that first day, they were told not to eat from the fruit of one tree, the Tree of Knowledge, until nightfall. The mystics teach that this fruit was a grape vine which is a fruit that contains the potential for great good and great evil. Over a cup of wine friendships are made and lost, lives are enhanced and destroyed, and hopes are created and ruined. It is the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The prohibition was only to last until nightfall that day. They were allowed to eat from the fruit of the tree once Shabbos came in. But they did not wait. We correct this mistake by making Kiddush on Friday night over wine or grape juice. It reminds us that we can only enjoy the pleasures of this world if we can also defer our enjoyment. If you have control over yourself and wait, then you are the master of your desires. If you can't, then you are slave to th

Trust is a mere term. Trust transcends hope, as the sky above transcends the earth below. A thread of hope is an anchor to the ground, a narrow path you’ve set for destiny to lead you. The thread snaps and your eyes look up to see nothing more than the open sky. Hope is gone. All you can do now is trust the One who has no bounds. That is Trust: When you stop suggesting to your Maker how He could rescue you. When you are prepared to be surprised by wonders and open to miracles. Menachem Mendel Bluming, Rabbi Freeman, Chabad.org

In Las Vegas we were stunned once again by another staggering and grotesque mass murder and the resultant anguish for all those whose lives have been destroyed and irrevocably altered. We are left perplexed and wondering what in the world is going on in our country? This kind of vicious mass murder is something we have not seen before, certainly not with the frequency that we see it today. Would you believe that there has been a shooter incident somewhere in the country almost every day this year? In the latest tragedy in Las Vegas the killer doesn't seem to even have had a twisted ideological or religious motive. Just wanton murder. Although law enforcement may be baffled in their search for a motive in this case, A general societal shift may have contributed to the perpetration in these kind of atrocious acts. The most dramatic changes in American society over the past seventy five years has been, not in the technological realm (though superficially it may seem so),

There is only one mitzvah that you are exempt from if you are uncomfortable and that is dwelling in the sukkah. If the sound of the shofar is uncomfortable to you, you are required to tolerate it. If fasting 25 hours is uncomfortable to you, you are still required to fast on Yom Kippur. Why would you be exempt from dwelling in the sukkah if it raining?! Sukkah is G-d’s embrace. He embraces us as we are without us doing anything religious. We eat, we drink, we talk to friends and that is sanctified by G-d when enveloped in the Diving Embrace of the Sukkah. In fact the verse “His right arm embraces me” refers to the sukkah. Unlike the days of awe when we pray and fast on Sukkot He embraces your life as you are, inviting your personal life to be imbued with sacredness. An embrace is not a hug if it makes you uncomfortable. Sukkot is too personal to obligate you if you are in agony. Then again how can someone be in agony when embraced by G-d, even if it’s raining? Chag sam

Thought by Menachem Bluming… Yom Kippur had ended and the Chazzan, the cantor, was the last one out and about to lock the door so that he could go home to his family when an older man came rushing to the door. “Why are you locking the doors?” The man pleaded. “Let me in, I am here for Kol Nidrei!” First the chazzan thought he was kidding but quickly realized how serious this man was. “Please let me in I have never missed a Kol Nidrei!” The chazzan patiently explained that the man must have mixed up the dates because Kol Nidrei was 25 hours earlier… The man looked away and broke into uncontrolled sobbing… “Woe is me… My father told me that as long as I hear the Kol Nidrei each year I will remain connected with the Jewish community and with being a Jew and what will I do now?...”  he sobbed and cried. The chazzan was touched deeply by this outpouring of Jewish connection and longing and so he told the man that he would not miss hearing the Kol Nidrei that year. “Come with me”, t

Don’t you love the feeling of being in control? You have your morning routine, your customized workout, you control every dial and setting and speed that you possibly can. Amazon delivers almost before you press the order now button. Texts are responded to instantly, calls are picked up before they ring and you expect that. You are in control of your life! Don’t you enjoy and depend on order and predictability? But control is an illusion. I may feel like I’m in control, but when it comes down to it, I am absolutely not. And if there’s any indication of that, it’s 9/11, Hurricane Harvey and Hurricane Irma and so many other natural disasters. Weather forecasters can identify the storm. They can track it, measure its force, estimate its trajectory and somewhat predict its impact. But they, and we, are powerless to stop or redirect it, despite the tremendous technological and scientific advances we have seen in the last few decades. In the Torah we read about the mitzvah o

Q: I dropped my faith a while ago. To be honest, I don't feel I am missing anything with G-d out of my life. If anything I am more free. It has made me wonder, if I lose my religion, have I really lost anything worthwhile?  Here's a thought: People often make the mistake of thinking that if you take away religion, you just get rid of believing in G-d. This is not true. You lose much more than G-d when you drop religion. Something else you lose when you drop religion is the idea of family. Family is a concept that cannot be taken for granted. The family is built and sustained on a belief system, a set of values, a worldview that sees marriage as a sacred covenant and parenthood as a moral responsibility. Without these supporting beliefs, the family is a baseless ideal that will erode with time. And these beliefs are religious. Only religion can provide a meaning to life that is higher than me. I was created with a purpose that is beyond myself. I am here to serv

Here’s a thought:  I will leave the resolution of this conundrum to others while I focus on a more fundamental aspect of the matter. A statue, any statue, is purposely made to look solid, imposing and, above all, enduring - able to withstand the vicissitudes of time and even to seem immortal, as the very word monument (a lasting public tribute) implies. But, in reality this is all only an illusion. As powerful as these monuments may seem, the truth is that they are ephemeral and transient. What is now being so powerfully demonstrated, is that these monuments only last as long as the ideas they represent endure. The moment that societal sensibilities shift, they can be unceremoniously taken down and shipped off to the dump. This is not just a contemporary condition but has been the way of history from time immemorial. Have you ever wondered why there are no Jewish monuments? Even King David, who fought and was victorious in many wars and secured the land of Israel, didn

Question to R' Menachem Bluming this week: I like the idea of a day of rest. But why should I start my day of rest at a prayer service? Aren't there better ways to start my weekend? Here’s a thought: We each have our own way of spending the weekend. Some play sports, others watch television, paint, write or just vegetate. But often we find that even though we are chilling out, somewhere in the back of our minds is that nagging feeling that we still have a pile of work waiting for us. We indeed left work, but work didn't leave us. Even while we are enjoying the weekend we are already dreading Monday morning. There needs to be a transition. It is not enough to stop working; we must leave work behind. We can't simply collapse into the weekend; we have to welcome ourselves into it. Only by consciously stepping out of our work week and ushering in our day of rest can we truly relax and rejuvenate. Then we will be ready to face the coming week with renewed pu

Question to Rabbi Menachem M Bluming: We haven't officially named our firstborn daughter yet. We have a problem. I always wanted to name her after my grandmother. But my wife doesn't like that name. She wants some other name which is nice, but I think it lacks any real meaning for the family. Doesn't it say somewhere that the father has the right to choose the firstborn's name?  Here’s a thought:  I'm not sure you want to know the answer to that.  There is indeed a custom in some communities of alternating the right to name a child between the parents. According to one Ashkenazi custom, the mother names the firstborn child, the father the second and so on. But some Sefardi communities have the father choosing the name for the first son, and then the mother the second son, while all daughters are named by the mother.  In your case, following either system, your wife gets to name this child.  But there is a different approach. These systems were o

Menachem Mendel Bluming received this question this week: I have to admit, I am angry. I was brought up Jewish, attended a Jewish school, and have only known Judaism as my religion. Now I am told I have to convert, because my mother never formally became Jewish. Isn't it a little unfair that all my life I was more Jewish than my friends, was subjected to anti-Semitism, and then I am told I need to convert?  Here’s a thought: I completely understand your frustration. It can't be easy to hear that you need to convert to your own religion. But please don't take it personally. This is not a reflection on you. The entire Jewish nation went through exactly what you are going through now.  After leaving Egypt, where they suffered as slaves and were tormented for being Jewish, the Israelites reached Mount Sinai. There they were told they had to formally accept the Torah, and convert to Judaism by immersing in a mikvah.  They could've had the same complaint

Question posed to Rabbi Menachem Bluming this week: Many times in the Torah it says that we should not say or do something that is forbidden since that will make G-d very angry. What am I supposed to make of that? How can I respect a G-d who is on the edge of blowing up if we don't follow what He says? Here’s a thought: Imagine being married to a man who never gets angry. Ever. About anything. You insult him and he shrugs. You are rude to him and he is nice back to you. You give attention to others and he isn't the least bit jealous. Would that be a wonderful marriage? Well, on one level, yes, it would be fantastic. No tension, no issues, no arguments or fights or silent treatment. But in truth, it wouldn't be good at all. It wouldn't be a relationship. If he never gets upset at you, it means that you don't really matter to him. If nothing you do moves him, it means he doesn't care enough to be impacted by you.  Being in a relationship means affe

The Constitution provides for its own amendment by a supermajority of the Legislature and States, whereas the Torah is eternal and immutable. Many Jews in the U.S. conflate these two documents. They have developed a 'veneration' of the transcendence of the humanly conceived Constitution and concomitantly advanced the idea that the Torah is adaptable, whereas the reverse is true.  Irrespective of the debate about whether the Constitution is a 'living document' or to be understood from the perspective of 'original intent', the fact is that the Constitution is a utilitarian document which also itself legitimates change by amendment. The Torah on the other hand was given to us by an omniscient G-d – as familiar with the future as we are of the past or present - who stipulated numerous times that the Torah is applicable for all future time. Logic too supports this notion. Governmental systems and structures must necessarily adapt to societal change.

Dying with Dignity  It often happens that foreign, secular ideas creep into the minds of even those who have faith. Usually, the way these concepts infiltrate is via catch phrases and clichés. First they enter our vocabulary, then they become a part of our mentality.  One example is "dying with dignity."  That phrase is poison. It originates in the movement promoting euthanasia. This is not a Jewish idea.  True dignity comes from the soul, from living a life of goodness and holiness and meaning. Our body is a vehicle for that mission to be achieved. But the body is not our real self, and not our source of dignity.  At the end of a good and purposeful life, the body may be frail and weak, but the soul is as bright as ever, having accomplished its mission. If people have to do some unpleasant jobs to bring comfort to that body in its final years, it should be seen as an honor. There is no greater dignity than to serve another.  I am not belittling the p

The holiday of the receiving of the Torah should be the best known holiday and yet... it is not the most observed Jewish holiday. Why? Here’s a guess. The reason why Shavuos is the least celebrated Jewish festival is a startling one. It is the least demanding... The easier the festival, the less it is observed. The most difficult festival to observe is Yom Kippur, on which we abstain from food and drink altogether and pray all day. And yet, this rather grueling holiday is the most widely observed. The easiest festival to observe is Shavuos. All that is expected of us is to have a day of rest and eat lots of cheesecake and receive a great gift from above (the Torah). How hard can that be? And this pleasurable festival is the most neglected. There's a surprising lesson there. We value things that require effort. If something comes too easy, it is taken lightly. But if it's demanding, it is more compelling. A tough diet will be taken seriously. A difficult work project

Did you hear about the recent study on frogs? Scientists took a sample of over one hundred frogs of various species and did the following test:  They placed each frog on a table, crept up behind it and shouted, "Jump!" The frog jumped.  Then they cut off one leg, and again shouted jump. It jumped, although not as far.  They then cut off a second leg and told it to jump, and then a third, each time observing that the frog responded, but jumped smaller distances.  Finally they cut off the fourth leg and again shouted "Jump!" They were amazed to find that in every case the result was the same. The frog did not move at all.  The conclusion: When you cut off a frog's legs, it goes deaf. It is scientifically proven.  We all come to the conclusions that we would like to believe.  Many have tried to either prove or disprove the Torah's divinity. Neither attempt will be successful. G-d wants us to have free choice. If we listen to His wor

People often tell me that if they saw a real miracle like the splitting of the sea they’d believe but how can they be expected to when there are no miracles today. This June we will commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of the six day war in 1967. Do you vividly recall those fateful days? The fear and panic in the lead-up to the war and the subsequent jubilant euphoria of the miraculous swift victory. Nobel Laureate  Eli Wiesel wrote these words in an article published in the 'Forverts' (translated from the original Yiddish by Chana Pollack) in the after-math of the war: "Future generations will probably never believe it. Teachers will have a hard time convincing their students that what sounds legendary actually occurred. The children will, naturally, swallow each word, but later on, as adults, they’ll nod their heads and smile, remarking that these were fantasies of history.” There are great miracles in our days, awesome miracles, if we would only notice…

In every English version of the Haggadah that I have seen, there is one word that is always translated incorrectly. When listing the Ten Plagues that smote the Egyptians, second one in Hebrew is called Tzefardeya. This is always translated as Frogs. But the original Hebrew is in the singular. The translation should be Frog. Now indeed, it is a little awkward to translate it literally. One frog hopping around does not seem like much of a plague. And to be fair, in many languages the singular form can denote a group, so perhaps Frog can mean Frogs. But there must be a reason why the Haggadah calls this plague the plague of a frog. Lice is in plural, so why is frog singular? The talmudic tradition answers that actually, the plague of frogs started with one single frog. A large frog emerged from the Nile River. The Egyptians saw it, and knowing that Moses had warned them there would be a plague of frogs, attacked the giant frog with sticks. As they struck the frog, it started

The key to the powerful treasure of the Seder is in the Four Questions On all other nights we don’t dip in but tonight we do, twice... Some of us go through life without ever being present. We may be sitting in one place, but our mind is elsewhere. We are constantly focusing on what needs to happen next, or where we would rather be, and never experiencing the moment for what it is. Hold on I’ve got to grab this call and get to this text, I’ll be right with you… We can miss out on the magic of today, simply because we are distracted. Tonight will be different. Tonight we will immerse ourselves in the moment, and be totally transfixed by the Seder and its message. We will dip ourselves entirely in the words of the Haggadah.  Not once but twice - in time and in mind we will be fully present at the Seder to find  freedom by remembering who we are and where we are going and what this life is all about…. Menachem M Bluming & Chabad.org

It is so natural and joyous to care for our children and yet what a challenge to show that love, patience and care to our parents. Why is it so? It’s easy to write it off to the ills of our societal values and of course there is truth to that, but here’s a different angle.  We are all descendants of Adam and Eve, the first human beings. We have inherited from them the basic ingredients of our human nature.  One thing made Adam and Eve very different to the rest of us. They didn't have parents. They were created as adults by G-d, not born as babies to parents. They had no umbilical cords. We on the other hand do have parents. And we inherit their genes, all the way back to Adam and Eve. That's why the desire to look after our children is human nature, but looking after our parents are skills that don't come naturally. Adam and Eve knew how to parent, but they never knew how to treat a parent. This is a skill that we need to learn. If children are taught

The healthcare debate rages on in the USA. The costs are so great and they are beyond what many (most) families can afford and yet costs keep on rising and the price tag to society is skyrocketing. How can we leave families without healthcare coverage? How can healthcare   coverage  be provided in a fiscally responsible manner? What to do? So here is a word to the wise from the Bible, the Torah (Exodus 15:26 ) “...if you will diligently heed the voice of G-d, your G-d, and do what is upright in His eyes and carefully listen to all His commandments and statutes , then all of the illness that I (G-d) brought upon Egypt , I will not bring upon you for I am G-d your healer.” The two parts of the verse seem to be contradictory. If G-d promises not to bring any illness upon the people why then is G-d referred to as ‘your healer’ since a healer is only necessary after one already has an illness? The answer is that G-d is teaching us two important lessons about health and healing : a) t

If your wife askes you if you love her during a particularly lousy day in your relationship on which you really do not feel the love (to say it mildly) should you answer her honestly? Yes… and that answer should be: "of course I love you!" My momentary lapse of feeling due to the inevitable vicissitudes of normal relationships does not threaten the essential foundation of our relationship. So it is perfectly honest to say "I love you", even at a moment when you don't feel it. And an amazing thing happens when you do. Your heart starts to melt. By mouthing the words "I love you", not because you felt like saying it, but because your wife needed to hear it, you have reached outside of yourself, bursting the bubble of self-absorption that is probably the cause of the blockage in the first place. Now you are open to feel again. It won't be long before the love starts flowing back, more powerful and passionate than ever. The same applies to

R' Menachem Mendel Bluming, Do you have a good answer for me? My 6 year old son keeps on asking me: If G-d created the world and everything in it, then who created G-d? Hmmm... not an easy one. Indeed, G-d created everything in the world. Not just tangible things, like trees and rocks and caterpillars, but abstract things too, ideas and concepts. time and space, G-d created them too. Until G-d created these things, they did not exist. Before creation, there were no caterpillars, but there also was no time. Space did not exist before G-d created it. We created beings can't really picture what this means. We always say we don't have time, but we can't actually imagine existence before time. But that's what was before G-d created it. Another idea G-d created was the very concept of creating, of a beginning. G-d made up the idea that things can be created, that they weren't there and then they are there. This too did not exist until G-d made it. So you can