Can A Doubting Heart Get Married?



When you are engaged to be married there are two types of doubting you may have. One is an alarm bell that should not be ignored! The other is a sign that you have made the right choice...

The great Kabbalist Rabbi Levi Yitzchok Schneersohn wrote a letter to his recently engaged son (printed in Likkutei Levi Yitzchok Igros Kodesh p202), explaining that engagement and doubt go hand in hand. The union of soulmates is such a lofty and super-rational event that the mind cannot possibly grasp it. Something is at work that is beyond our understanding and therefore there is always an element of doubt.

This doubt is not an indication that you have done something stupid. On the contrary, it means that you have touched a level that lies beyond the confines of the human mind. Finding your soulmate is such a miracle, our logic cannot process that it is really possible, that it is really true, that I have found the one for me. This wonder is a kind of positive uncertainty - Is this for real? I don't believe this is happening to me!

So the fact that you feel unsure may be a good sign, indicating that you have been touched by the hand of G-d, and are left in wonder that it could really be so good!

Menachem Mendel Bluming, Rabbi Moss and Chabad.org

Popular posts from this blog

Menachem Bluming Muses: Real Faith – How to Guide

Let’s do a simple exercise. Think about the blessing you need right now. Acknowledge the obvious fact that G-d, being all powerful, can solve your problems and fulfil your needs with the click of a finger. One phone call, one ‘chance’ meeting, one turn of events can change everything. You may not be able to imagine how your life could turn around, but G-d is not limited by your imagination. G-d can do anything. You know all this. That’s the easy part. Here’s the challenge. Take your faith to the next level. It’s not enough to know it in your mind. You have to feel it in your heart. Feel calm and relaxed, right now, even with your issues yet unresolved and your needs not met. You are in G-d’s hands, and G-d is good. Your problems will go away and everything will work out. So why wait until then to enjoy it? Start celebrating now. Feel the peace and comfort of knowing that everything is good, even before you can see it. Smile and be happy. It’s all done. When you bring your tru
Read more

Menachem Bluming Muses: Why Fast on Yom Kippur

In honor of Yom Kippur a Jewish newspaper interviewed me. Not that many read that paper :) so I figured that I would post the interview. Here goes: “So Rabbi Bluming when it comes to Yom Kippur most Jews think about how hungry they will be! If G-d wants us to be focused on prayer and returning to him why wouldn’t He allow us to eat so that we can better focus?” “Yes,” replied Menachem Mendel Bluming, “it is not easy to fast.” “Not easy?”, we asked. “It seems that when I fast I am so preoccupied by food and how hungry I am that I can hardly focus on anything else!” “You got it! That is exactly the point.” Mendel Bluming asserted. “Really? I am not sure what you mean by that.” We asked Bluming. “Yom Kippur is the day for me to put myself aside to focus on G-d and my spiritual destiny. By fasting I can reflect on what a pitiful existence my body is. Just withhold sushi and quinoa and bagels and lox for one day and I can hardly focus or think straight! I see mysel
Read more

Menachem Bluming Muses: Judaism’s Teaching on Reincarnation

I remember at school a friend failed his end of year exams and had to repeat a grade. He stayed back for a year and was no longer in our class, but rather the class below. We all moved on but he was held back. Some think reincarnation is like repeating a year at school. While some souls graduate to the next world after their life in this world, others are sent right back down to get things right in another life. That is not quite how Judaism teaches that it works. A better metaphor would be a mobile data rollover plan. The phone company gives you 15GB of data per month. Any part of that data you don't use in one month rolls over to the next month. So if you only used 14GB in May, that 14GB is gone, but the remaining 1GB comes back for you to use in June. Your soul has multiple gigabytes of spiritual energy and divine potential. This is the power G-d has invested in you to fulfill your mission in life. You use that potential by doing good deeds, performing mitzvot. Every mit
Read more