Menachem Mendel Bluming has often been turned to from members in his community with requests of how to assist family members or friends who are in failing health and spirits.


Here’s an idea:

Ask him for help.

When you contact him, set aside the illness as if it wasn’t there for a moment, and ask him for some advice. Think of his area of knowledge and talent and tell him that you need his assistance.

He is a builder and you are thinking of renovating. Ask him about some issues you are having. This will be more than just telling him "you matter and you are needed", it will be actually making him needed.

Now obviously we are talking about someone with some serious health issues. They won’t go away with one little conversation. It might not change anything at all. He may not even be receptive to being asked, or maybe he can’t respond. But if you have even the slightest possibility of getting through to him, it is worth a try. It might give him the opportunity of not being absorbed in his own issues. If he can focus on another person for even a short time, that may serve as a little breath of fresh air, and he may be lifted, if even temporarily, above his darkness.

Sometimes the snare of depression or illness is the self-absorption it brings. The perfect antidote for that is serving others. Give him a chance to have that. If nothing else, you will have communicated to him that whatever he is going through, he can still contribute to the world, and you value him enough to ask. That may be all he needs to hear.

May he/she have good news!

Rabbi Mendel Bluming, Maryland and Rabbi Moss, Australia

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