Why Do Mourners Tear a Garment?


The experience of loss arouses several emotions. On the one hand, death is a tragedy. A loved one is lost to their family and friends, who are left feeling a profound sense of separation and distance that seems beyond repair. For this reason, we observe a seven day intense mourning period, during which the family sits at home and feels the pain and loss, followed by a year of mourning. This helps them slowly accept the new reality; that their loved on has passed on.

But often, the mourners feel that it isn't really true, it didn't really happen, they haven't really gone. This is not just denial. In a way they are right. Death is not the end. Our souls existed before we were born, and they continue to exist after we die. The souls that have passed on are still with us. We can't see them, but we sense they are there. We can't hear them, but we know that they hear us. On the surface, we are apart. On a deeper level, nothing can separate us.

So we tear our garments. This has a dual symbolism. We are recognizing the loss, accepting the reality, our hearts are torn, and there is a hole in our lives that can never be healed. But that is only true on the bodily level. The loss is a physical one. But the soul lives on.

The body is no more than a garment that the soul wears. Death is when we strip one uniform and take on another. The garment may be torn, but the essence of the person, the soul, is still intact.

From our worldly perspective death is indeed a tragedy, and the sorrow experienced by the mourners is real. But as they tear their garments we hope that within their pain they can sense a glimmer of a deeper truth; that souls never die.

Rabbi Mendel Bluming serves as rabbi of the Chabad Shul of Potomac since 2003. Among his communal roles, Menachem Mendel Bluming assists community members through this Jewish mourning period. Credits to Rabbi Moss.

Popular posts from this blog

Menachem Bluming Muses: Real Faith – How to Guide

Let’s do a simple exercise. Think about the blessing you need right now. Acknowledge the obvious fact that G-d, being all powerful, can solve your problems and fulfil your needs with the click of a finger. One phone call, one ‘chance’ meeting, one turn of events can change everything. You may not be able to imagine how your life could turn around, but G-d is not limited by your imagination. G-d can do anything. You know all this. That’s the easy part. Here’s the challenge. Take your faith to the next level. It’s not enough to know it in your mind. You have to feel it in your heart. Feel calm and relaxed, right now, even with your issues yet unresolved and your needs not met. You are in G-d’s hands, and G-d is good. Your problems will go away and everything will work out. So why wait until then to enjoy it? Start celebrating now. Feel the peace and comfort of knowing that everything is good, even before you can see it. Smile and be happy. It’s all done. When you bring your tru
Read more

Menachem Bluming Muses: Why Fast on Yom Kippur

In honor of Yom Kippur a Jewish newspaper interviewed me. Not that many read that paper :) so I figured that I would post the interview. Here goes: “So Rabbi Bluming when it comes to Yom Kippur most Jews think about how hungry they will be! If G-d wants us to be focused on prayer and returning to him why wouldn’t He allow us to eat so that we can better focus?” “Yes,” replied Menachem Mendel Bluming, “it is not easy to fast.” “Not easy?”, we asked. “It seems that when I fast I am so preoccupied by food and how hungry I am that I can hardly focus on anything else!” “You got it! That is exactly the point.” Mendel Bluming asserted. “Really? I am not sure what you mean by that.” We asked Bluming. “Yom Kippur is the day for me to put myself aside to focus on G-d and my spiritual destiny. By fasting I can reflect on what a pitiful existence my body is. Just withhold sushi and quinoa and bagels and lox for one day and I can hardly focus or think straight! I see mysel
Read more

Menachem Bluming Muses: Judaism’s Teaching on Reincarnation

I remember at school a friend failed his end of year exams and had to repeat a grade. He stayed back for a year and was no longer in our class, but rather the class below. We all moved on but he was held back. Some think reincarnation is like repeating a year at school. While some souls graduate to the next world after their life in this world, others are sent right back down to get things right in another life. That is not quite how Judaism teaches that it works. A better metaphor would be a mobile data rollover plan. The phone company gives you 15GB of data per month. Any part of that data you don't use in one month rolls over to the next month. So if you only used 14GB in May, that 14GB is gone, but the remaining 1GB comes back for you to use in June. Your soul has multiple gigabytes of spiritual energy and divine potential. This is the power G-d has invested in you to fulfill your mission in life. You use that potential by doing good deeds, performing mitzvot. Every mit
Read more